917 | To Lord Barrington

    Copy_

    Aylesbury Jan 4 1774.

    My Lord,

    Your Lordship gave me Leave to trouble you again upon my Subject, to point out to you the great need there is of settling my Affairs at the Treasury, and to show how much I am affected by the delay of it. And I have had fresh Occasion to do this since I left London, having had Returns of my Disorder, tho’ not quite in the same Shape.1 Having had an Opportunity of talking with Dr Smith of Oxford, who has before been acquainted with my Case, He earnestly recommended a change of Climate, which he said would do me more Service than the whole class of Medicines, and proposed my going to the South of France, to Tours or Dijon &c.2 This would be extreamely agreeable to me, and I beleive very beneficial in other Respects as well as that of Health.

    Your Lordship may remember that when I wrote to you from Bath in feby 72, I then mentioned my having this Design, and I then sollicited my being released from my Office in Ireland and restored to my Pension, as the means to enable me to carry this Purpose into Execution.3 But by the Delay of my Release, I was obliged to postpone my journey to France and at length to lay it aside and flatter myself with the hopes of doing without it; till I at length am told that it is necessary to the Recovery of my health, and should be pursued presently; which I must now do under greater difficulties and to greater Disadvantages than it would have been if it had been set about when it first was proposed; to say nothing of the Loss of Time, which in this case is a material Circumstance.

    To facilitate your Lordship’s Sollicitation and to refresh your Memory of what I have before given you too much trouble in, I shall with this inclose Copies of the cheif original Papers, which I have before presented; which, if the Originals should not be at hand, may be used as such. I have proposed only, that your Lordship should speak to Mr Robinson on this Subject; if you should see an Occasion to go farther, I must leave it to your Judgement, as I have no doubt of your perfect good will towards me.

    The Objects of my present Sollicitation are 1. That I may be restored to my Pensions with a Satisfaction for the Loss I have suffered by the Deficiency of the Equivalent given in Lieu of them. 2. That upon the Revival of them, part, £400 (or if it should be more agreeable £300 or £200) shall be appointed for the Life of Lady Bernard. The first of these I consider as allready assured to and wanting only a formal Settlement. The other is indeed a new Request: but it is only that out of a Bounty granted to me a provision may [be]4 made for my Wife in the way of Defalcation from me, and not by any additional Charge. This will be only anticipating what will otherwise be a charge on the King’s benevolence, upon my Death; which will be unavoidable, if it shall appear, as it will most probably be, that my Life was shortened by my fidelity in the Kings Service, and the Consequences of it.5

    For in truth, my Lord, when I reflect upon my case, I cannot but consider myself as a Martyr to the Cause of Great Britain. For if the Parliament had not taxed the Colonies; or if I had not in the height of my Zeal for my Mother Country, and the Service of the King tho’t it my Duty to support the Authority of Parliament; or if the Parliament had thought it their Business to support their own Authority, I should probably at this time have been in Ease, affluence and Health, and should have attained many more Years than I am now like to see. And then I should not have had an occasion to sollicit a Subsistence out of the publick Stock, without making an actual Service a Consideration of my pay. It is therefore with much Regret that I am become a Pensioner or desire to be one.

    Your Lordship’s Friendship has been the Balm of my Life, and now it supports me in persisting in my Endeavours, before I go hence, to see my Family decently provided for; one means of which is the Extending my Life to a few more Years; and upon that Account I desire to be at Liberty to take the best care of it that I can. I therefore intend, if I have Leave, to go abroad next Summer: but shan’t be able unless my Dependance on Government shall in some way or other be made certain.

    I am &c

    Fra Bernard

    The Right Honble__ The Lord Vict Barrington __

    L, AC      BP, 12: 289–292.