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to be overtaken & to fall & to fall so fouly, that y^e

satisfaction of so base a Lust should be more precious to

my vile Heart, then y^e will of God, his glory, the honour

of his glori^s Gospell, the credit of his Churches, the com

=fort of my Deare wife, Relations, neighbours, my own

Spirituall interest, & what not that ought to have bin

dearer to me then my Life, or y^t Abominable Sin, to be sure,

And I doe wonder greatly at y^e kindenesse of God to such an

one as I, that he Should provide y^t Such as are Spirituall

should indeavour to Restore such an one , in Obedience

whereto, & of y^t (if thy Brother sin, tell Him)[64] I doubt not

but you have written this Letter.  which therefore I look on

as a Letter written from X^t . I perceive you stand in

doubt of Me & y^rfore desire to change your voice w^th

me, and I desire also to doe w^th you. If it might be

for your greater satisfaction, but so it is that my Im-

=poverisht condition of w^ch my sin hath bin y^e chief occasiō-

hath put me under many occasions ingagem^ts of work for my

Necessity, w^ch I think I cannot Lawfully neglect to performe.

Besides y^t, w^ch the providing for My family w^ch I am bound

to, are Inconsistent w^th such a journey in my Age: I desire

therefore if it may be y^t y^e Rule of Satisfactiō can be att-

=ended w^thout my coming down to you that this Journey

may be abated me. My not writing to you all this time

I finde is not a little dissatisfactory to you; & indeed since

 have

I considered of y^t matter I find I have done amiss y^rin

 ^

ffor I ought to have confesst my sins to you that I might

have bin holpen by your prayers , but y^e ground of that

Silence was y^t I having ō y^e Lord’s day made a publicke

Confession to justify y^e Lord & Shame & Condemne my selfe

& warne others  I did think y^t this being Known in all y^r

parts where I had done this dishon^r to God & set the Evil

Example to others was as much as I was to attend, especially

consid^ring if a Xtian Spirit were in Reports, they would not

disjoyne y^t confessiō  from y^e mention of my fall.

Now deare Brethren what expressions will Serve to repayer Gods glory

your griefe, or to vent y^e great Sorrow y^t fills my Spirit

very ffreely doe I acknowledge with David y^t I have greatly

sinned in this thing , & y^t God may justly leave me to an im-

=pænitent frame of Spirit & cause me to rotte & perish in

my sin  and blott me out of his book. Uncleane Lusts indeed are

chased w^th extreme divine displeasure [none that goe to her

returne][65]  that is very few , & especially hath God threatned to

be avenged on such] as I have bin in this great Sin, whereat I

desire to feare & tremble, I acknowledge my great ingratitude

to God who hath taken me so neare to Him, that hath done

so great things for me in his Son  by his Spirit, & Word

& people & providences , oh y^t all y^e obligations & Concern

of his glory & my own good & y^e good of others have in so high

a Degree bin in this matter by me broken neglected & Contemned

The fountayne of Originall Corruption I bewayle & see it to be