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    36  102            1672.


    Goodman Millers Letter read in ye Church at Rowley Novemb 3 1672

     Revrend & much honoured

    I have received some considerable time since a letter from yr Reverend

    Pastor for wch I desier to be thankfull to him, & have fore me cause to bless ye

    Lord, who hath ye hearts & bowells of all in his hands yt he hath & I hope in much

    mercy for my poor soul moved his & your hearts still towards me, who am de

    servedly cast out as abominable from yt comfortable heart refreshing fellow

    ship wch I sometimes injoyed wth you, yea wch is farr greater that decreed[104]

    forever to be deprived not only of yr compassions heer, but of the bosome fel

    owship of God father S & holy gh. throwout all eternity: Therfore not dareing

    to rest in soe dreadful a state any longer, for whoseover hardenth his heart agaynst

    me sayth the lord shall never prosper, I have throw grace made it my conti

    nuall prayer to ye god of mercy yt if it be his holy will to give me a heart

    full of sound Repentance & deep humiliation for the great dishonour I have

    brought to his glorious name, together wth ye violation of that Solemn

    & dreadfull covenant wch I entered into wth yourselves: To yt end I have

    made bold at ys time, not being able to goe from home wthout indangering

    the comfort of my self & family

    I therfore at ys time as ye lord shall inabl me though wth much weakness & lev

    ity from my self; give you an account of ye lords grace towards me in shewing

    mee ye horrid Evill of my Sin: When I lay wth chaynes upon mee in the

    prison, the lord was pleased to bring mee somewhat to consider what I had don

    & wher I was, wch some short time before I little minded, & was alsoe

    pleased to shew me by ye convictions of my conscience, together with ye

    terrors of his righteous law yt I did not onely deserve to be in chains here

    but to be in everlasting chains of darkness to all eternity: In ye midst of thes

    flames of conscience I took notice of yt dreadfull Text In 2 Prov. 19 none that

    goe unto her return again, neither take yy hold of the pathes of life which

    caused me to conclude that yr was noe mercy to be found for soe vile a

    Wretch as I was, Satan then setting in confirmed ye same to me & that it was

    to noe end for me to look for pardon, & that my sin was soe great not a

    sin of ignorance but wittingly & willing against the light of my own Conscience:

    Yet ye lord was pleased to give me some poor measure of strength from yt promise if

    I resist him he should fly from me, & from thence was the lord pleased to lead

    me into my heart to se the vileness that was lodging ther, that after I had

    fallen away soe farr from him, yt yet I would be going farther as to questi

    =on ye never fayling compassions & grace of yt god against whom I had sinnd

    at yt time god brought yt place to my mind in ye 3 Jer 12 13. Return thou

    backsliding Israel sayth ye lord & I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you

    for I am mercifull sayth ye lord and I will not keep anger for ever. Onely

    acknowledg thine iniquity that thou hast transgressed against ye lord thy God

    from yr ye lord was pleased to shew me that ther was yet hope of pardon for

    ys my great transgression, & to convince me yt yr was no other way to it

    but by my returning to ye lord my God & by acknowledging my iniquity before

    him, yt I have transgressed, which throw grace ye lord gave mee a heart in

    some poor measure to doe. Alsoe I received comfort from yt sweet & gratious

    invitation to All weary & heavy laden sinners to come unto the lord Jesus

    and they shall find soul rest: ffrom this the Lord was pleased

    [104] Conjectural reading.